ElephantJournal

"I feel sorry for people who think alcoholism is about drinking too much, or too often, or think it's about willpower or weakness.

The stigma that keeps us whispering and looking away, also keeps those people wallowing in ignorance.

Alcoholism is about pain. It is about a failed attempt to medicate. It is about denying our reality and deceiving in order to hide from the truth. It is about the demise of love. It is the purest imaginable form of destruction.

I am an alcoholic. I spent 25 years drinking. The last 10 of those years,  I was battling the disease of addiction. I had no fear of alcoholism when I started drinking, I was blind to the trauma and turmoil my disease cause right to my very last drink. Even nine, ten, eleven months into my sobriety, I had no idea what alcoholism was about.
But, now I know.

Alcoholism isn't about drinking at all. It's about the demon the poison turns us into. The demon is annoying, crass, and disgusting when drinking. When that demon is sober, however, that's when he's really dangerous."